Emotionally Intelligent Marriages

Once upon a time when love was new and fresh, we would regularly share our intimate feelings and vulnerabilities with one another. We felt close and connected. But then the pressures and stressors of modern life set in. We are asked to juggle our many roles and responsibilities. Then there’s the kids, aging parents and Covid-19! We try our very best to be good people despite the disappointments and betrayals. And the shutting down of our feeling Self starts. Sometimes we even add booze and drugs.

In the west, we have been conditioned to live in our heads. The mind can solve complex problems, advance careers and make money. While we love to operate from the rational brain, the entanglement that is romantic love can only be unraveled if we activate our emotional muscles.  In order to handle the emotional waters we must make emotional intelligence our priority.

Are you emotionally literate? Can you communicate what you are feeling in any given situation? This is a critical skill not only for your professional relationships but with your children and romantic partners. Emotional literacy involves having the self-awareness to recognize and name your feelings and to be able to manage and control your negative emotions such as anger, frustration, anxiety, sadness, guilt and shame. According to research anyone can learn to grow their emotional muscles.

The best gift you will receive from attending my Couples Retreat Intensive in Niagara-on-the-Lake is how to make friends with your own and your partner’s negative feelings that have accumulated in the “marriage pond” over the years. You will learn how to communicate your feelings to your partner as well as how to listen to your partner’s feelings without taking it personally, without wanting to run away, or trying to fix them or judge them. In some cases, you will learn how to navigate the turbulent waters of anger and betrayal and years of disconnection. Emotions are part of life, sometimes the best part of life. We need to make friends with all of our feelings if we are to have successful relationships.

Once a couples repairs their emotional bond, a broken relationship can come back to life! In the past 14 years and working with over 3000 couples, I have been amazed to witness the healing miracles at my Couples retreats. The transformation that is possible in one weekend is nothing short of miraculous. If you have reached a dead end in your relationship, or if you’re worried you may be headed for divorce, invest in yourselves. Attend a life changing retreat to get the clarity, closure and healing you both need so that you can move forward. You will see that the quality of your life dramatically improves in all ways. Aren’t you worth it?

Who Are You?


You have a body. But you are not your body.

You have thoughts. But you are not your thoughts.

You have emotions. But you are not your emotions.

You have a family. But you are not your family.

You have friends. But you are not your friends.

You  have a job. But you are not your job.

You have a bank account. But you are not your bank account.


For some of you, it will take years, maybe even a lifetime to unearth and discover the real you.   But don’t give up. This is your most ardent mission; your most sacred task.  Do not consult your external Self, your body, do not heed wisdom from your thoughts and beliefs, do not always trust your emotions for they can be in flux and in turmoil, do not look to your family or friends, do not judge your authentic Self by what you do, or how much money you make.  Your Authentic Self is not found in the stars or the deep sea.  It is found within–inside; that place that is only yours, that place called your SOUL.  What should we do once we find this place?

Love it. Accept it. Enmesh yourself in it’s glory. Celebrate it and let the JOY bubble to the surface and touch everyone around you.  Your SOUL is alive, on fire burning with possibility and potential.  It wants to play! It wants to learn! It wants to love! From the very beginning, it has always been about the journey, not the destination.  All experiences including the pain is worthwhile. It was all necessary—ingredients that made you YOU!  So wherever you are is fine.  Pick yourself up–and trust your inner guidance system. Go to your SOUL.

Two thousand years ago, Socrates declared to his students that the unexamined life is not worth living.  Plato brought Socratic wisdom to the world in his writings. What this old master was trying to teach his students is that if we don’t meet, know, and love our Authentic Self, our SOUL deteriorates. Life will have been a waste.  Another master, St. Augustine, Bishop of Hippo from 396 to 430, one of the Latin Fathers of the Church and perhaps the most significant Christian thinker after St. Paul said it this way: “Take care of your body as if you were going to live forever; and take care of your soul as if you were going to die tomorrow.” 

Why Men Need Therapy

I run men's Intensive therapy weekends because I have met far too many men at my Couples Retreats who are brilliant but who just don't have the necessary emotional intelligence to succeed at relationships.  Men's brains are hard wired for action, not … [Continue reading]

Best Advice for Couples: Elle Magazine Interview

ELLE MAGAZINE:  What are your top three pieces of love and dating advice based on your research and experience with couples?     GRACE:  1. Listen with Your Heart—Good communicators listen for feelings as well as facts. They naturally make people … [Continue reading]

Benefits of a Women’s Retreat

Women's Inner Faultline A lot of women at first glance seem to cope well with the demands of life. They’ve learned to juggle their many roles and responsibilities but what people don’t see is the fault line on the inside that puts pressure on … [Continue reading]

Why a Couple’s Retreat vs. Traditional Counselling

Traditional Therapy Only Goes So Far: There are many reasons why people choose a Couple's Retreat or marriage intensive over traditional talk therapy for marital issues. First of all, traditional therapy  (CBT cognitive behaviour therapy) is … [Continue reading]

The Sacred Marriage: Vulnerability & Courage in Modern Times

The following is the Introduction to my new book, The Sacred Marriage: Vulnerability & Courage in Modern Times Be drunk with Love, for Love is all that exists.  ----Rumi What is a Sacred Marriage?  It is a deep, loving romantic … [Continue reading]

7 Tips to Nurture Your Intuition

Thank you to all who attended my Goddess Club workshop this week. What a wonderful turnout and so much amazing ENERGY!! Everyone loved the topic of Intuition!  For years, I have had requests for my notes, or a synopsis of what was discussed at these … [Continue reading]

Let Your Emotions Flow Like a River

There are many therapies out there — different approaches aimed at helping people become more effective and less fearful. What I’ve learned is that good psychological health comes down to emotional energy and whether this energy inside you is … [Continue reading]

Redemption: Wipe the Slate Clean

My friend’s 90 year old father, Charlie is on his death bed.  He was a hard man in his younger days, bossy and aggressive, and my friend hated the way he treated her mother who died ten years earlier.  Still she confesses, “I massage him several … [Continue reading]

Grace Cirocco
179 King Street
St. Catharines, ON
L2R 3J5 Canada
Telephone: (905) 688-0868
Fax: (905) 688-2788